THIS JUST IN!
GOOD EVENING MR. AND MRS. AMERICA AND
ALL THE SHIPS AT SEA!
THE NEWS, THE WHOLE NEWS,
AND NOTHING BUT THE NEWS!
PARA PARA PARA PARA PARA PARA PARA PARA
Your THUG editor (and CSULB Faculty Member) just received a mass e-mail from CSULB Interim President Donald J. Para -- in fact Para's resignation e-mail -- proof positive that some folks foolishly hope they can escape the sword of truth and justice one step ahead of the indictments.
Yeah, well, you should have stepped away BEFORE you did what you did, Mr. Para. Anytime AFTER is too late.
Here then comes the e-mail for you to peruse, Loyal THUG Readers.
And to help you understand the true meanings contained within the e-mail, THUG offers an interlineated translation of what we know that Para really meant.
Enjoy this moment, remember it always, and stay thirsty my friends.
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From: CSULB President
Date: Thu, 16 Jan 2014 13:27:24 -0800
To: All Faculty CSULB
Subject: Update on Presidential Search
Dear CSULB Faculty and Staff,
The search process for the selection of the next president for CSULB is proceeding as planned.
(That is, in complete secrecy and pursuant to a political agenda that has nothing to do with faculty or student welfare.)
Semi-finalists were interviewed last week.
(Only as a sham to cover legal obligations of diversity fairness, even though we had already decided who we were going to hire long before the selection process began.)
From that group, a small number of finalists have been selected. These finalists will interview with the full Board of Trustees in closed session at the end of this month.
(Finalists are only now being vetted, but they were selected so that only one would be viable. The Board will be told they have no real choice, per usual.)
An announcement identifying the new president is expected shortly thereafter.
(I could tell you now, but my pay as Interim President has been given entirely in exchange for my silence on many things, including this.)
I was deeply honored when Chancellor White offered me the opportunity to serve as interim president of CSULB last May.
(Actually, I wanted it so bad I had to change underwear several times during my meeting with him, but he made it clear that I was only getting the gig so that I would be the one to take the fall should Professor Lane and others uncover more scandalous evidence of Alexander's and my corruption and retaliations. It would be quite unfair for a new President to come in and have to face the consequences of my shame while I was back in Michigan retired and enjoying hockey season.)
I could not pass up this extraordinary chance to serve the university that I love; although, for some years I had planned to retire in 2014.
(My retirement option reared its head in late 2012 as Professor Lane's legal arbitration approached and I was faced with being called under oath to face my lies and bad acts. Had I not conned Lane into a settlement, I would have been forced out in early 2013. Instead, I am hustling my ass out the door in 2014 just before Lane's new arbitration comes up and the truth about me comes out under oath and on the record. Damn that King Alexander for breaching Lane's settlement and giving Lane cause to file the new claim that will be arbitrated. I had my ass totally covered, but Alexander fucked me up it anyway.)
The chancellor and I agreed that the very positive evolution of this campus must continue to move forward expeditiously during the search process. To this end, we decided it would be best not to share with the campus community the reality that I would not be a candidate until such time as the appointment of the new president was imminent.
(It was critical that people on campus stayed afraid of me and sucked up to me, particularly the ones who had evidence of my bad acts. So we had to make people think I might be a candidate for the full-term Presidency, even though I have no qualifications for the job whatsoever.)
Serving as president of CSULB has been a gratifying and rewarding conclusion to my career at CSULB.
(Every day I worry that I might wake up and discover this was all a dream and I am still an underpaid professor rather than an overpaid, underachieving, incompetent, and completely criminal administrator. Thank God that I dream so well and live in a waking sleep. Which, by the way, will be my defense when I am indicted.)
Following my original retirement goal, I do not plan to return to my position as provost when my term as interim president comes to an end.
(Chancellor White made it quite clear that the jig and my gig were up. As a new Chancellor, he wanted no more part of my antics or sordid history. Once my bad comes out, he wants to be known as the guy who showed the crooks the door.)
I expect to be working on campus through the end of the academic year.
(Of course my expectations are subject to change in light of the next THUG chapters or criminal indictments.)
Dave Dowell has agreed to continue as interim provost. I will do everything I can to make the transition to the new president as seamless as possible and will be available to assist the president and the interim provost as needed after my retirement.
(I've been asked to assist by getting as far away from everyone as possible, lest my shit rub off on them. I've been hearing a lot of "Please lose my number" lately.)
On a last very personal note, please know how honored and humbled I have been by the many people, both on and off campus, who have strongly advocated my “candidacy” for the position of president. I will never forget your generous comments and wishes of support.
(Seriously, the only supporters I have were those I bribed or threatened. It's easy to spot them. Whoever got an advancement or a raise or funds each time I moved up the ladder, those are my "supporters". They would have supported a gerbil if the gerbil had hiring power.)
I have been a part of this campus, in one capacity or another, for 26 years. This association has been a blessing in my life. I love this campus and have been honored to have served this very special place.
(Of course, I haven't stepped into a classroom in two decades. I hated teaching because the students knew I was a fraud. Maybe if I would have just finished composing that one and only symphony so I could have been credible... But, thankfully, Alexander and other administrators allowed me to "fail up" because they knew my only morality was doing anything they asked without question or hesitation. This, I must admit, is the value of my Catholicism. I can do whatever crap I want so long as I confess. But I do owe an apology for the heart attack I caused my priest.)
Thank you for the outstanding contributions you make to this campus on a daily basis.
(And we plan on showing our thanks by getting rid of as many of you as possible, replacing you with on-line part-time tutors and pre-recorded reusable lectures. Losers! You should have jumped from teaching to the administration while there was still time, but now there's no more room in the fucking lifeboat! Losers! Who gets the last laugh after all, eh?)
We have an important and exciting semester ahead of us. In addition to welcoming a new president, we have work to do to continue building the remarkable institution that we know as CSULB.
(Blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Soon as we cancel enough classes and move them to on-line, we are going to sell off our acreage to the Fake Long Beach Studios Guys. And you know what, the idiot students will embrace it because they won't have to pay for gas and parking anymore! Stay-at-home education, awesome! This is a win-win for everyone, right? Or, maybe just maybe, as my father used to say, you actually do get what you pay for. Best not to tell students that if you stay at home, your money is better spent on porn than CSULB on-line classes.)
Go Beach! (Go to hell, I mean.)
Donald J. Para
Interim President (What a joke.)
THUG The Book Is designed so you can read the
Installments in any order you want.
THUG The Book and all the foregoing material is
copyrighted for all purposes in all media
-- all rights reserved by Brian Alan Lane -- 2022
All original documents have been maintained and are
available by justified written request to:
Michael J. Olecki, Esq. -- Grodsky and Olecki
available by justified written request to:
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2001 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 210, Santa Monica CA 90403
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Couldn't there be other interpretations as well? For example, the search committee could have eliminated Para simply because he is not as competent as the ones that made the secret shortlist. Any provost knows that when that happens, the new prez that comes in will hire their own provost, which would mean that Para would have to take a demotion next year. So he would rather retire than do that. Maybe he will pop up as the new provost or prez at some other Minor State U in a few months. That sort of admin musical chairs is all too common. Of course, the CSULB short list is secret, and so are many others around the country, so that begs for all sorts of speculation. The previous evidence you uncovered on Para certainly suggests your interpretation has merit, though. Guess us interested bystanders will just have to wait and see how it all unfolds. It certainly is very entertaining, so thank you for all your work on it.
ReplyDeleteAdministrator musical chair cronyism indeed.
ReplyDeleteFirst LSU hires Daniel T. Layzell as the university’s new Vice President for Finance & Administration. He comes to LSU from Illinois State but already knew the King for many years: they did "research" together and co-authored "publications" like the 2006, F. King Alexander and Daniel Layzell, "Changing Priorities and the Evolution of Public Higher Education Finance in Illinois," What's Happening to Public Higher Education?, pp. 135-158.
Now, as the new chancellor of the LSU-Alexandria campus, comes Daniel Howard from Arkansas State, who did his D Ed at Indiana University with King's father, Kern Alexander.
Don't be surprised if the current Provost at LSU announces his retirement soon, and that after a secret search the new one is announced as Don Para. Is there a Para(normal) joke in there somewhere?
ReplyDeleteThe new President has been announced as Jane Close Conoley. Do you have any opinions about her and what her appointment will mean for CSULB?
ReplyDeleteTHUG is, of course, in the process of vetting Dr. Conoley. What we note at first impression is the obvious: CSU cronyism has been replaced by UC cronyism. Chancellor White has just brought in a CSULB Prez who was his interim replacement at UCR after he became CSU Chancellor. So White's bringing in his old peeps rather than the best available. Considering the differences between the UC and the CSU, CSULB is likely in for a bumpy ride, and, with Governor Brown focusing on graduation rates rather than education and research, it seems odd for CSU to choose someone with a UC (research) background. Maybe her Texas A&M folksiness will help. But, again, at first blush, the hiring of Dean Conoley seems to be an admission that CSULB is only attractive to second bananas. Also, recent Dean hirings at CSULB prove up that point: the powers-that-be want the place run by glad-to-get-a-raise-cronies who do as they are told by their bosses. A slimy corporate mentality rather than an academic approach to education. Very sad. Word is that CSULB faculty are filing for retirement in droves this year.
DeleteThe set up for the cover up.
DeleteThe national media does not care about small fry like Don Para at minor colleges like Long Beach. The only way this is going to gain traction in the media is if there are connections upward to leaders at the state level. Are there documents that establish such relationships, at least to a great enough degree to warrant media coverage and official investigation?
ReplyDeleteNot to seem ungrateful, but Thug faithful were promised an Installment Eleven that took a dark turn -- not a snarky commentary on some pathetic loser's email that would apply equally well to most any presidential search at most any university anywhere. And we had to wait months just to get that.
ReplyDeleteAt the very least, tell us here in the comment section what King did to warrant the new arbitration? Was it his comments to the press about Thug?
Signed, Insufficiently Grateful.
Every chapter has answered a lot of questions about how the administration misusing the money. Thanks for revealing the truth on how dishonest the administration is and keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteHeadline: Another Secret Prez Search Ends Badly. When will they ever learn that transparency is the best policy. Duplicitous people are the ones that love secrecy, and a secret search is the best way to ensure you hire someone duplicitous. Here is the story from the Hapless Valley Daily Times: "Penn State backs Barron; Florida State challenges New York Times report on Jameis Winston case"
ReplyDelete“Penn State’s presidential searches are confidential,” university spokesman David La Torre said in an email. “However, in electing Dr. Barron, the trustees conducted all appropriate, thorough background checks and investigations required by institutional policy for all employees.”
The paper’s investigation concluded Florida State “did little to determine what had happened” when a female student alleged she WAS sexually assaulted by quarterback Jameis Winston, who has not been charged and would go on to win the Heisman Trophy. The newspaper reported the university did not respond to a question about whether Barron knew about the allegations.
Read more here: http://www.centredaily.com/2014/04/16/4138259/penn-state-backs-barron-florida.html#storylink=cpy
Hello, THUG Readers! Your intrepid THUG editors are still alive and kicking! Incredibly, by trying to disengage from some of the madness (to let the authorities do their very long-winded investigations, still continuing), we stumbled onto a multi-billion dollar California State Education and Pension funding scandal, so headlines are coming, that's for sure. What's become painfully clear is that things are just plain corrupt. Money is truly the root of all evil and it's becoming harder and harder for do-gooders to do good. The level of self-justification for the bad guys is at an all-time high, and institutional self-preservation trumps the institutional mission. My disgust and disillusionment is now complete. Nonetheless, THUG is going to take down as many bad guys as we can. In the end, it will be WHACK-A-MOLE and every vacuum we create will only be a starting point for the next generation of of scum, but all we can do is do what we do and do what we must. So, stay tuned.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, if anyone reading this is an Academic Year or 10 month retiree from CSU who receives or plans to receive a pension from CalPers, please contact us, because you are getting screwed in your pension benefits and the money you've been cheated out of has been absconded with by folks you know. THUG will be publishing a more detailed call-to-arms about this, but you are about to see the biggest class action suit in history, and it may just cause the next big California quake..
Time for an update Brian. We want blood!
ReplyDeleteWhen is the next instalment? Is LSU going to do anything about its new leadership, or does none of this really matter?
ReplyDeletethis blog sucks. all bulshit and no more updates
ReplyDeletePlease don't be too hard on Brian. He had the courage to try, after all. I hope he's okay.
ReplyDeleteGreat site! Well done.
ReplyDelete